Wedding celebrations held prior to the wedding day are meant to heightened the engagement period, honor the couple, and allow you the time to spend quality time of joy with your close relatives and friends before the exuberance and “craziness” of the wedding weekend.
Certain rules of decorum should be kept in mind for all wedding related functions. Note that the terminology has more bearing on the correct etiquette for each event. For instance, engagement party verses “a celebration in honor of” or a shower verses a luncheon, dinner or tea amidst extended friends.
Here are the basic guidelines to follow for Creating The Wedding Guest List:
The Wedding Guest List offers the biggest opportunity to create hurt feelings. Everyone is excited about your wedding and wants to include those who are important to them. Culling the list has to be done with great sensitivity because you don't want to offend the feelings of anyone. I always recommend that the first order of business is to define your vision for the wedding and share it with both families in writing. If you are set on a wedding with only 80 in attendance then those parameters should be communicated. Both families will know from the beginning that there will be limitations to the guest list. This is not a guaranteed method to avoid problems, but it does set some initial boundaries. Creating these initial boundaries will quickly put in check the possibility of going off in the wrong direction.
Prepare your list with consideration. Most pre-wedding parties are intimate affairs made up of close friends and family. Attending a wedding celebration builds excited leading up to your wedding and provides the guest an unspoken guarantee that they will be honored with a wedding invitation to witness your big day. It is misleading and unacceptable to invite guests to parties and not invite them to your wedding. According to The Emily Post Institute, Anna Post writes in her book Emily Post’s Wedding Parties “Anyone invited to any wedding party (office’s showers excepted) must be invited to the wedding”.
Be sensitive to your single friends. From college age on, your single guests should be extended an “and guest” invitation. Your wedding is a party. Your wedding is a celebration. They too would like to be comfortable and enjoy the entertainment along with you. It’s no fun sitting alone and watching others dance and have a good time.
The Wedding Guest List is fluid. It will expand and contract. However, by giving your families initial parameters you will set the tone that you will be planning your wedding with guidelines. Knowing that guidelines are in place, hopefully all will be inclined to be sensitive about who they should request to be invited.
A Luxurious Wedding Couture Wedding Invitation Created By Embellishments
Wedding Seating Chart by Jan Boyd Calligraphy.